In my adult life, I always seem to go back on the same thinking about food. It’s either good or bad.
This is the whole reason why I want to “refocus me”.
You are so restrictive with your diet that you constantly are thinking about what you can’t have rather than what you can. And when you become so DONE with this shitty way of living, you binge like you’ve never binged before.
But I never realized it until I really looked at myself while listening to that podcast, that I am doing the same damn thing!
I may not be trying every diet out there, or using the latest fast-fix-craze, but thinking about food the way I am is no different than what these other people are doing.
The podcast listed symptoms to dieting and how you know if you are or not.
- You’re still emotionally tortured about food choices or how your body looks
- You still think of food as either good or bad (or worse, approved or not approved)
- You’re still looking at other people’s body or life and hoping your chosen program will bring you to that
- You have a guru you look to instead of looking at yourself as your own guru
CHECK, CHECK AND FREAKING CHECK.
I obviously do Number 2, but the other three, I am totally guilty of. Especially the “looking at another person’s body and hoping this program or how you’re eating will make me look like that”.
This is hard for me. Even more so now since having a second baby.
There is fat in places I’ve never had, stretch marks for days, spider veins, etc. I am more vulnerable now about the way I look than I have ever been.
I know that I could probably go buy a quick fix, lose 10 lbs of water weight and feel better about the scale, but I am tired of this cycle. I don’t want to ever feel stuck again.
I want to know and be confident in how I eat majority of the time, but also be okay with eating a donut every once in a while. And not feeling like I’ve failed.
Right now we are changing our eating habits slowly, just by doing our 2 week challenge.
And even though we have already “failed,” after listening to this podcast, I really don’t think we did.
We may have not stuck to our program we set for ourselves, but the whole goal of this is to learn. And we did that.
We learned that we may need to work on better prep. We learned that we can make a different choice than typical fast food to eat out.
We will end up using a program at some point, but when we do, I want to use it as an experiment to learn new things, apply them, and toss the things that don’t work for us instead of feeling like we are failing because we aren’t doing something exactly what someone else did for their body.0